1
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,320
Lamont!

2
00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:02,161
Lamont! Come on down.
I got your lunch ready.

3
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,699
Soup a la Fred.

4
00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:10,726
Lamont, come on down!

5
00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:20,104
Why'd you have to get
dressed up for lunch?

6
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:22,341
Now I gotta put napkins
on the table.

7
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,752
I hope it's something light, Pop.

8
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,288
I've gotta go someplace,
and I don't wanna eat too much.

9
00:01:29,355 --> 00:01:31,414
Well, it's light,
but it's fillin'.

10
00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:33,516
Cream of leftover meat loaf.

11
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:40,189
- What's cream of leftover meat loaf?
- Soup of the day.

12
00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:43,602
I'm not eatin'
no soup that you made.

13
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,604
Listen, this soup is good.

14
00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:48,698
It's not like out of the can.
It's homemade, and it's good.

15
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:51,767
You know, like that song?
<i>M'm, m'm, good</i>

16
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,814
<i>M'm, m'm, good</i>

17
00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:59,875
<i>Sanford's meat loaf soup is</i>
<i>m'm, m'm, good</i>

18
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:08,755
I'm not eatin' it, 'cause you're always
lappin' in the soup.

19
00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:11,854
Nobody don't wanna eat no soup
after you done lapped in it.

20
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,961
- I ain't been lappin' in it.
- Then how you know it's good?

21
00:02:16,035 --> 00:02:17,127
I smelled it.

22
00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:20,438
That's even worse.
Sniffin' in the soup.

23
00:02:20,507 --> 00:02:23,237
Cream of dirty old man soup,
and I ain't eatin' it!

24
00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:26,738
I spent half of the morning
over that hot stove...

25
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,644
and you ain't gonna eat this soup?

26
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,980
I told you I wasn't hungry.
I got something to do.

27
00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:33,814
- That why you all dressed up?
- Yeah.

28
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,219
I got a very important
interview this afternoon.

29
00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:38,416
- What kind of interview?
- I'll tell you if you promise...

30
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,425
not to go blabbing it
all over the neighborhood.

31
00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:42,518
My lips are locked.

32
00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:46,326
I'm goin' to see a man
about gettin' a part in a movie.

33
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:49,994
It's one of them low-budget fiIms
done by an independent fiIm company...

34
00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:52,094
and they pay you $50 a day.

35
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,197
Once the fiIm comes out,
I could be discovered.

36
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:57,402
Now tell me the one about
Goldilocks and the three bears.

37
00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:01,944
Why don't you believe me?

38
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,246
Same reason I don't believe in
the Easter Bunny. I got good sense.

39
00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:09,612
That's the very thing
that makes me mad at you, Pop.

40
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:12,453
Any old dog or cat could
come in here off the street...

41
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,516
and tell you he was startin'
a movie career...

42
00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:16,585
and you'd be askin' him
for an autograph.

43
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,654
But let me,
your own flesh and blood...

44
00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:20,722
tell you the same thing,
and you put me down.

45
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:24,964
- It's not right.
- Any old dog or cat could have talent.

46
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:30,806
And I suppose
I don't have no talent, huh?

47
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:34,244
You ain't got talent to be a junk man.
Maybe you could be a movie star.

48
00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:37,775
You see that?

49
00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:39,875
That's why I don't eat soup
that you make...

50
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,944
'cause you always
lappin' in it!

51
00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:44,114
I ain't lappin' in it.
You ain't gonna eat none?

52
00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:46,249
- No.
- Then I was lappin' in it.

53
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,795
Say, what was
this movie about, anyway?

54
00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:53,798
I don't know. I'm going to meet
with the director and the producer.

55
00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:56,061
In fact, Rollo should have
been here ten minutes ago.

56
00:03:56,135 --> 00:03:58,626
What? Rollo?
Did you say Rollo?

57
00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:00,639
Yeah, he's the one
that told me about it.

58
00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:04,575
If you and Rollo gonna be in a movie,
I got the perfect name for it.

59
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:06,111
"Super Dummies. "

60
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,239
I'm not gonna be
a dummy much longer.

61
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:13,080
Listen, as long as there's a Rollo,
you'll be a dummy.

62
00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:16,019
He takes advantage of you
'cause you got an empty head.

63
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:20,025
Your head is empty. That's why you
make a good pair. Rollo and Hollow.

64
00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:27,530
- I don't wanna talk about it no more.
- Good.

65
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,591
- I ain't gonna say no more about it.
- Thank you.

66
00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:31,660
- You got into this on your own.
- Right.

67
00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:33,296
I ain't gonna tell you
what I'm thinkin'.

68
00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:34,305
Good.

69
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:36,399
I think you're a bigger fool
than I thought you were.

70
00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:48,144
What's the matter with you?

71
00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:50,849
Come on in, Rollo.

72
00:04:50,923 --> 00:04:54,324
Is that Rollo? I didn't know
you came out in the daytime.

73
00:04:57,096 --> 00:04:59,792
Come on. Let's get outta here.
Oh, listen.

74
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:03,029
I don't have a picture of myself.
You think I'm gonna need one?

75
00:05:03,102 --> 00:05:06,094
I hope not, 'cause I ain't got
a picture of myself either.

76
00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:08,663
Rollo, why don't you go down
to the post office...

77
00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:11,232
and take one of your pictures
down off the wall?

78
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:19,549
- Come on. Let's go.
- Wait. I ain't through talkin' yet.

79
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,553
Listen, Rollo,
I don't like the way...

80
00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:24,283
you're always gettin' my son
messed up in your crazy schemes.

81
00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:27,884
Hey, Pops! This movie
don't fall into that category.

82
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,451
This movie's
on the for real side, jack.

83
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:33,397
- You ain't got to explain to him.
- Yes, I do.

84
00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:37,800
Ajoke is a joke, but why you treat me
like a criminal when I come here?

85
00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:39,997
'Cause I want you
to feel at home.

86
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:44,307
Man, you behind the times,
Mr. Sanford.

87
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:47,403
This is the golden age of fiImmaking
for the black man.

88
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,914
Those studios
are searchin' high and low...

89
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:52,075
for star material
like myself and Lamont.

90
00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:54,676
That's right, Pop.
Black is very profitable right now.

91
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:56,984
Studios in Hollywood
is comin' out with black fiIms...

92
00:05:57,056 --> 00:05:59,354
faster than cars are comin' off
the assembly lines.

93
00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:01,416
From what I've seen
of some of'em...

94
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:03,428
they oughta send 'em back
for correction...

95
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:05,987
like they do them cars
that come off the assembly line.

96
00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:10,329
In the old days, movies were movies,
and stars were stars.

97
00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:13,566
Louise Beavers,
Rex Ingram, Lena Horne.

98
00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:16,574
But nowadays, any fool
they cut loose from a football team...

99
00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:20,203
right away they stick him in front
of a camera and call it a movie.

100
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,748
You got to crawl
before you walk, jack.

101
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:26,080
Personally, I'm happy to be numbered
among the brothers...

102
00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:28,245
- taking these great strides forward.
- Me too.

103
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:31,256
Even if I don't make it,
it won't be because I didn't try.

104
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:34,418
I don't plan to spend my life
pumpin' gas and changin' oil.

105
00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:37,019
I don't plan to spend my life
sellin'junk.

106
00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:40,532
Then why don't you pump gas and oil
and you go sell junk?

107
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:46,799
- Let's get outta here.
- Wait a minute.

108
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:49,933
I wanna show your old man
this ain't jive nonsense we into.

109
00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:52,000
What is that, a summons?

110
00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:56,607
This is our passport out of the valley
of the shadow of poverty...

111
00:06:56,682 --> 00:06:58,980
and straight into the splendor
that is Beverly Hills.

112
00:06:59,051 --> 00:07:01,281
And up the river
to the penitentiary.

113
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:05,655
Hey, come on, man.
Let's get in the wind.

114
00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:08,956
There they go, Frick and Frack.
Two big-time movie stars.

115
00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:17,968
"Wanted"...

116
00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:20,662
That sound like Rollo already.

117
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:24,274
"Wanted: Black movie actors
and actresses...

118
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:28,404
for exciting fiIm by revolutionary,
independent fiIm company.

119
00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:31,678
Yes, that means you,
Mister and Miss Untapped Talent.

120
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:33,810
Are you tired
of a lackluster life?

121
00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:35,979
This is your chance
to take your rightful place...

122
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:39,456
with the stars and celebrities that
you've watched through the years.

123
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:43,586
You too can be a movie star.
No previous experience needed. "

124
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:52,627
Well, them two dummies
can be a movie star, so can I.

125
00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:57,836
And they don't have
the profile I got.

126
00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:04,750
And I know I can act.
Ronald Colman.

127
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:12,414
If I were king...

128
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,385
the stars
would be your jury...

129
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,060
and the sun
would be your light.

130
00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:19,825
If I were king.

131
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:24,503
Charles Laughton.
Come here, Mr. Christian!

132
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:43,288
Yeah. Come on in.

133
00:08:57,236 --> 00:08:58,635
Can I help you?

134
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:01,138
My son, Lamont Sanford,
and his friend came down here.

135
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:04,734
He left this with me in case
I wanted to get in a movie too.

136
00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:07,540
You must mean those two guys
that just got here.

137
00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:09,604
Wait a minute.
Sit down.

138
00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:12,949
Hello, Don?

139
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,111
Yeah. Can you
come in here a minute?

140
00:09:18,157 --> 00:09:20,421
- So you wanna be in pictures, huh?
- Yes.

141
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:22,620
You ever done any acting?

142
00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:25,357
I played Santa Claus
in a pageant back in St. Louis.

143
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:29,891
- No fooling.
- I still remember some of the words.

144
00:09:31,003 --> 00:09:33,198
'Twas the night
before Christmas...

145
00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:35,206
and all through the house...

146
00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:38,209
not a creature was stirring,
not even a rat.

147
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,478
Isn't that "mouse"?

148
00:09:41,547 --> 00:09:44,175
Rat. This pageant
was in the ghetto.

149
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:52,383
Don, this gentleman here
would like to work in pictures with us.

150
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:55,393
Don's our director.
What do you think?

151
00:09:56,629 --> 00:09:58,756
I think we could find
a place for him.

152
00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:01,994
Let me see.
The harem scene.

153
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,660
Wouldn't he be delicious?

154
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:12,072
Yeah, yeah.
Good thinkin', Don.

155
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:16,713
Yeah, that's good thinkin', Don.
What am I supposed to do now?

156
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:20,149
Go right through that door and relax
with your son and his friend.

157
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:23,450
- We'll be right with you.
- Okay. Say, listen.

158
00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:27,014
You want me to shave my beard off?
I'll shave if you want me to.

159
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:29,994
No. You're absolutely perfect
just the way you are.

160
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:32,121
I am, ain't I?

161
00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:42,032
Well, look who's here?
Rock and Tab.

162
00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:46,809
Oh, no. What are you doing here?
Did you follow us?

163
00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:49,814
No, the man said that
he could definitely use me...

164
00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:52,112
and that I was perfect.

165
00:10:52,184 --> 00:10:54,846
And you know,
that director said I was delicious.

166
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,923
You know, I think that director is...

167
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:06,855
- Rollo, come here, man.
- What?

168
00:11:06,932 --> 00:11:09,958
What kind of movie can this be
if they're gonna use him?

169
00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:13,494
I don't know. Maybe they just
gonna use him for the crowd scene.

170
00:11:15,941 --> 00:11:19,274
All right, gentlemen.
Don, let's go.

171
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:22,610
Yes. Now, gentlemen, would you
kindly undress down to your shorts?

172
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,673
- Yeah, sure.
- Sure. Okay.

173
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,179
Did you say for us
to get undressed?

174
00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:30,415
Maybe it's just for our costumes,
right, jack?

175
00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:32,582
I'm sorry.
You haven't seen the script yet.

176
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:35,650
It's basically skeletal.
We do a lot of improvisations.

177
00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:37,923
Why don't you take a look
at the script yourself?

178
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:40,090
Oh, yeah, that's... spiffy.

179
00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:11,025
What kind of movie is this?
Ain't nobody got no clothes on.

180
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:12,291
Now you're gettin' it.

181
00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:14,628
I ain't gettin' nothin'
but the hell outta here.

182
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,002
Yeah, come on, Rollo.

183
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:20,436
Why didn't you tell us
this was gonna be a nudie?

184
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:23,407
I ain't gonna be in no naked movie.
I ain't no nudie.

185
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,876
You're already here.
What do you got to lose?

186
00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:29,073
You gonna lose about 19 of your teeth
if you don't shut up!

187
00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:31,912
- Come on.
- Come on, Pop. Forget it, man.

188
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:34,953
- Just forget it.
- Hold on! Don't anybody move!

189
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:36,351
You're all under arrest!

190
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,413
Wait a minute, Officer.
What's the charge?

191
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:40,721
The charge is taking part
in a pornographic movie.

192
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:43,023
- What?
- Come on! Out! Move!

193
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:45,086
You too! Let's go!

194
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,726
Oh, I feel a big one!

195
00:12:52,538 --> 00:12:55,006
I'm comin' to join you, Elizabeth!

196
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:57,907
You hear that?
But shut your eyes, honey!

197
00:12:57,977 --> 00:13:00,104
It's a nudie rap!

198
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:07,680
Let me outta here, you hear that?
Let me outta here!

199
00:13:07,753 --> 00:13:09,846
Hey, let me outta here!

200
00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:12,622
Ajailbird.

201
00:13:13,859 --> 00:13:16,293
A 65-year-old jailbird.

202
00:13:17,229 --> 00:13:19,322
I'll bet you they cut off
my Social Security.

203
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:22,231
Relax, Pop.

204
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:25,862
Mr. Sanford, you better calm down.
Don't let this place get to you.

205
00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:28,930
Pretty soon you'll be stir-crazy.
Then they'll throw you in the hole.

206
00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:32,637
You mean like they did Paul Muni
in <i>I Was a Fugitive from a Chain Gang</i>?

207
00:13:32,711 --> 00:13:35,646
- That's it.
- I couldn't take that.

208
00:13:35,714 --> 00:13:38,547
Hey! Let me outta here!
I'm innocent!

209
00:13:38,617 --> 00:13:40,915
I didn't do nothin'!
Let me outta here!

210
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:44,012
You just wait until Ralph Abernathy
finds out about this!

211
00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:47,650
- Let me outta here!
- Pop, quiet down.

212
00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:49,853
- Let me out!
- Knock it off!

213
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:52,955
- I wanna get outta here.
- Say, old dude, what's wrong with you?

214
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:55,592
Why don't you cancel
all this noise you're making?

215
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,693
Can't even hear
my radio for you.

216
00:13:57,770 --> 00:14:00,034
Listen, I'm a real sick man.

217
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:04,041
I got to get out so I can get
to my medicine, else I'll go like this.

218
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:06,043
I mean, like this.

219
00:14:06,111 --> 00:14:09,638
- So?
- "So"? Is that all you can say?

220
00:14:09,715 --> 00:14:12,946
What kind of brother are you?
You must be a West Indian.

221
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,614
What do you want me to do?

222
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,592
Let me outta here
so I can make my one phone call.

223
00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:24,424
What one phone call
is that, old dude?

224
00:14:24,496 --> 00:14:27,260
The one phone call you get to make
when you get arrested.

225
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:30,734
If you'd been watching <i>Perry Mason,</i>
you'd know what I'm talkin' about.

226
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:33,704
He's right.
We do get to make one phone call.

227
00:14:33,772 --> 00:14:36,866
Okay, I'll let you make
your one phone call if you be quiet.

228
00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:38,671
Good.

229
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:41,770
Say, Pop, look.
I'll make the phone call, okay?

230
00:14:41,847 --> 00:14:43,838
See, I was just
gonna call Sparitoba.

231
00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:46,578
- You know, Bubba's friend Sparitoba?
- Who's Sparitoba?

232
00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:50,179
He's a part-time lawyer and deliveryman
down at Leo's Barbecue.

233
00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:53,783
Today is Friday, so he'll be out there
delivering at Leo's Barbecue today.

234
00:14:53,859 --> 00:14:56,851
Never mind, Pop.
I know who to call, okay?

235
00:14:56,929 --> 00:15:00,296
- I'll be right back.
- You can say that again, jack.

236
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:07,734
Say, listen here.
Where's the men's room?

237
00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:24,322
Just turn around
and aim yourself in that direction.

238
00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:34,055
- There?
- There.

239
00:15:38,837 --> 00:15:40,327
That's it?

240
00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:43,964
Yeah. What did you think it was,
a goldfish bowl?

241
00:15:46,045 --> 00:15:48,479
Well... it's all out in the open.

242
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,810
I ain't gonna never
be able to use that.

243
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,754
I hope you don't get
too long a sentence then.

244
00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:02,555
Say, listen,
gimme a cigarette, will you?

245
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:05,995
I ain't got any.
I thought you quit smoking anyway.

246
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:09,694
I did, but when I get upset,
I gotta have me a cigarette.

247
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:11,929
Anybody here got a cigarette?

248
00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:15,735
- Oh, Mr. Sanford.
- Yeah, who is that?

249
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:18,402
Over here, Mr. Sanford,
in the next cell.

250
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:19,466
What you want?

251
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:22,537
I heard you asking for a cigarette,
and I thought I'd offer you one.

252
00:16:22,614 --> 00:16:26,050
- I don't know if these are your brand.
- Any brand is all right...

253
00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:28,780
as long as it ain't none of
that Acapulco artichoke.

254
00:16:31,623 --> 00:16:34,592
This could be very disconcerting
the first time around.

255
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,390
Sometimes you just need someone
to hold your hand, so to speak.

256
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:47,497
A man could get locked up here
away from loved ones and sweethearts.

257
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:50,041
It could get very lonely
after a few weeks.

258
00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:54,003
I'm sorry.
Here's my lighter.

259
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,088
Here's your cigarette
and your lighter.

260
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,035
- What happened?
- Everything's cool.

261
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:26,304
I called Aunt Esther.
She's on the way over here.

262
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,778
Esther? You called
Aunt Esther up?

263
00:17:28,847 --> 00:17:30,974
Now everybody in town
is gonna know about this!

264
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,849
- Is Aunt Esther a talker?
- Is she a talker?

265
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:38,151
Her mouth's so big, you can
put your head in it with your hat on.

266
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,382
Pop, we need Aunt Esther.

267
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:43,519
She's the one
with the habeas corpus.

268
00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:45,859
Yeah, she got
a big one of them too.

269
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:53,002
You don't want Esther to get us
out of here? You wanna stay in here?

270
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:56,007
Maybe, if they give me
a cell with a decent toilet.

271
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,567
Dinner is served.

272
00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:05,148
This is dinner?

273
00:18:05,217 --> 00:18:09,244
There's a fried bologna sandwich
on toast, hot...

274
00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:11,414
warm milk,
Tootsie Roll Pops...

275
00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,515
and I'll warm that up
for you if you want me to.

276
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:17,888
No? Well, <i>bon app�tit, amigos. </i>

277
00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:19,191
Why, you...

278
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:24,700
I can't eat this here.
I'm goin' on a hunger strike.

279
00:18:26,004 --> 00:18:28,996
You hear that, City Hall?
I'm goin' on a hunger strike!

280
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:32,066
Pop! Would you quiet down?
That's not gonna help.

281
00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:35,711
I can't eat no sandwiches.
Sandwiches make me burp.

282
00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:40,913
Eat your Tootsie Roll Pop, Pop.
That's good.

283
00:18:41,987 --> 00:18:44,455
What a way to spend
my last days...

284
00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:47,651
sittin' between two dummies,
suckin' on a Tootsie Roll Pop.

285
00:18:51,663 --> 00:18:55,099
Well, here they are, ma'am.
Winkin', Blinkin' and Nod.

286
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,493
Aunt Esther,
are we glad to see you.

287
00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:01,767
Well, I'm sure not glad to see you,
at least not in jail.

288
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,104
Why don't you shut up, Esther.

289
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:06,474
You just keep suckin'
on that sucker, sucker.

290
00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:12,946
And when I pull your chain,
you bark.

291
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,814
Otherwise, don't you say nothin'.

292
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:19,187
Lamont Sanford,
I'm ashamed of you.

293
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:22,386
If your mother was alive to see you now,
this would break her heart.

294
00:19:22,461 --> 00:19:24,053
This would kill her.

295
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,189
Hey, you over there.

296
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:29,359
Aren't you Rita Larson's boy Rollo?

297
00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:32,995
- Yes, ma'am.
- Just wait till Rita hears about this.

298
00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:35,005
It's gonna break her heart.

299
00:19:35,073 --> 00:19:37,940
Aunt Esther, are you gonna
help us get outta here?

300
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,069
They're checkin' it out upstairs.

301
00:19:40,145 --> 00:19:42,739
Fred Sanford, I'm glad my sister
isn't here to see this...

302
00:19:42,814 --> 00:19:45,305
and see the awful stain
you put on our family.

303
00:19:46,618 --> 00:19:49,746
Listen, Esther,
I didn't put no stain on your family.

304
00:19:49,821 --> 00:19:52,119
Your family was stained
when I met you-all.

305
00:19:56,962 --> 00:20:00,420
- Don't you talk about my family!
- I'll talk about your family.

306
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:04,265
Every time a baby was born,
they had that ugly stain on 'em.

307
00:20:04,336 --> 00:20:06,930
That's right.
That ugly stain.

308
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:09,997
Even Ajax couldn't do nothin'
with a stain like that.

309
00:20:11,009 --> 00:20:13,068
How dare you say something
like that about my family!

310
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:15,136
Why, you bean-eatin' bear hugger!

311
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:19,207
- Don't you call me that!
- I'm gonna beat your brains in!

312
00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:21,479
Don't you talk about my family!

313
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:23,487
Wait a minute, lady.
Just a minute. Please!

314
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,319
Lady, just a minute.
Please! Whew!

315
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:27,915
All right, now.

316
00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:31,193
Fred Sanford, Lamont Sanford
and Rollo Larson.

317
00:20:31,263 --> 00:20:34,027
- Yeah, that's us.
- You're the men who were brought in...

318
00:20:34,099 --> 00:20:36,693
in conjunction with a raid
on a pornographic fiIm factory, right?

319
00:20:36,768 --> 00:20:39,202
Yeah, but it was...
We were framed! We're innocent!

320
00:20:39,271 --> 00:20:41,205
Wait a minute, Pop.
Don't spoil it for us.

321
00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:44,106
Yeah, shut your double-breasted lips!

322
00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:47,635
- Lady...
- You dirty old man!

323
00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:49,908
Guilt is written all over
your lecherous face!

324
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,610
- Will you hold it, please?
- You shut your big...

325
00:20:52,684 --> 00:20:54,618
Quiet, quiet.

326
00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:56,984
- Lady, hold it!
- Don't you tell me to shut up!

327
00:20:57,055 --> 00:21:00,047
I'll shut up when I get ready!
You don't tell me to shut up!

328
00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:02,822
Wait a minute.
Thank you.

329
00:21:02,894 --> 00:21:05,624
We can get this thing
all cleared up right away.

330
00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:08,962
Now, I'm sorry if your detention
has inconvenienced you gentlemen...

331
00:21:09,034 --> 00:21:12,231
but we had to check out your story,
and you've been exonerated.

332
00:21:12,304 --> 00:21:15,171
- Hey, beautiful!
- Can we get outta here now, Lieutenant?

333
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,265
That's right.
Let 'em go.

334
00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:19,674
- Wait a minute.
- What?

335
00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:22,236
- Don't let 'em out yet.
- What?

336
00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:25,249
- I got somethin' to say to 'em.
- Can't you say it out on the street?

337
00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:28,377
These heathens ain't gonna
stand still to listen to this.

338
00:21:31,823 --> 00:21:35,020
Isaiah, chapter 42, verses 5 to 7.

339
00:21:36,094 --> 00:21:37,561
Don't tell me...

340
00:21:44,202 --> 00:21:47,797
"Thus said God the Lord, I the Lord
have called you in righteousness...

341
00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:49,807
to bring out the prisoners...

342
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:52,366
and them that sit in darkness
out of the prison house. "

343
00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:55,903
I don't hear no amen in there.

344
00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:58,245
Can I get an amen
for chapter 42?

345
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,844
- Amen.
- Amen. Let us get on outta here.

346
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,946
Well, all right. Let me hear somethin'
if you wanna get out.

347
00:22:05,023 --> 00:22:08,117
You're not the only one
that knows something about the Bible.

348
00:22:08,193 --> 00:22:12,129
Remember this:
He who keep runnin' thy lipeth...

349
00:22:12,197 --> 00:22:15,997
will get their lipeth spliteth
with one of these!

350
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:18,059
And one of those!

351
00:22:21,707 --> 00:22:25,234
It's been a long, hard day.
I think I'm gonna turn in, Pop.

352
00:22:26,311 --> 00:22:29,872
You hear what I said?
What are you reading?

353
00:22:29,948 --> 00:22:32,917
Huh? I'm lookin'
at the movie section.

354
00:22:32,984 --> 00:22:35,646
You think those porno movies
ain't big these days?

355
00:22:35,721 --> 00:22:37,746
Listen. They all over the place.
Look at these.

356
00:22:37,823 --> 00:22:41,054
"<i>Nurse's Night Out. </i>
Frank, daring and bold. "

357
00:22:41,126 --> 00:22:43,219
And here's another one.
"<i>Sweets from Sweden. </i>

358
00:22:43,295 --> 00:22:45,286
No one under 40 admitted. "

359
00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:50,000
And here's another one.
"<i>Sex on the High Seas. </i>

360
00:22:50,068 --> 00:22:52,593
The story of a man,
a woman and a fish. "

361
00:22:55,507 --> 00:22:57,600
- They're disgustin', ain't they?
- Yeah.

362
00:22:57,676 --> 00:23:00,008
A lot of people are gettin' uptight
about them pictures.

363
00:23:00,078 --> 00:23:01,841
They've been condemned
in a lot of places.

364
00:23:01,913 --> 00:23:03,175
They should be.

365
00:23:03,248 --> 00:23:06,217
- I'd be the first one to condemn 'em.
- Do what you want to do.

366
00:23:06,284 --> 00:23:08,514
- I'm goin' to bed.
- You think I won't?

367
00:23:08,587 --> 00:23:11,522
You betcha I'll call somebody.
<i>Nurse's Night Out. </i>

368
00:23:11,590 --> 00:23:13,182
<i>Sweets from Sweden. </i>

369
00:23:14,025 --> 00:23:16,960
High seas and all that.
What happened to old family movies?

370
00:23:17,028 --> 00:23:20,691
Like Mickey Rooney in them
Andy Hardy pictures, stuff like that.

371
00:23:20,766 --> 00:23:22,757
Nobody don't play
that stuff no more.

372
00:23:23,502 --> 00:23:24,491
Hello.

373
00:23:25,504 --> 00:23:27,529
This the Paradise Theater?

374
00:23:27,606 --> 00:23:29,369
Yeah. Well, listen.

375
00:23:29,441 --> 00:23:31,841
You showin' a picture tonight
called <i>Nurse's Night Out?</i>

376
00:23:33,545 --> 00:23:37,208
What are you doing showing that kind
of movie in a neighborhood theater?

377
00:23:38,884 --> 00:23:41,250
What? It shows what?

378
00:23:44,322 --> 00:23:45,653
They are?

379
00:23:47,459 --> 00:23:49,086
They do?

380
00:23:50,529 --> 00:23:53,794
Well, listen,
what time the next one start?

381
00:23:56,001 --> 00:23:57,195
Yeah. Okay.

382
00:24:01,606 --> 00:24:04,541
I gotta go down and see 'em
before I can condemn 'em.

383
00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:21,153
Sanford and Son <i>is recorded on tape</i>
<i>before a live studio audience. </i>